This morning, I sent you another racy picture. I started sending them this year so that you would remember what I look like.
Well, that's not true.
I send them so you can see how I look when I am standing just perfectly, sucking in my gut, perking out my boobs, wearing make-up and lots of flowing hair. And then I crop the pictures to remove all of the things I find unsightly--like cellulite or love handles or wrinkles--and then I run the pictures through some filters to jack up the highlights and shadows and perhaps blur out my mommy belly.
Before I put on the make-up, fix the hair and pick the outfit, I clean the bedrooms so that the background looks inviting. If I happen to get the ironing board that is covered in clothing, I crop that out. If the bathroom door is open and you can see the pile of clothes on the closet floor, I crop that out. I make the bed so that it looks smooth and inviting and adjust the lighting.
And while I am doing all of that, I am thinking of something witty to say, so that you think I am both sexy and funny.
All in all, I invest about an hour of time into each shot and I do it because I like to think that I am planting an image in your head of me looking all silky smooth and inviting.
We both know that if you were home and seeing me in my natural state everyday, you wouldn't have any illusions about how supple I am, you would see me everyday without filters or cropping or perfect posture or jutting breasts.
So, the picture taking thing is good and the delightful benefit is all of the flirting that goes along with it. Oh Daddio, the way you talk to me when you are far away. It's delightful. It feels like dating, and it is so cool to still be dating the same man for 21 years.
Tell ya what, you keep flirting with me, and I will keep flirting with you. I will be your girlfriend when you are out of town and your wife when you are at home. The wife gig is pretty sweet too, because it is your wife who fulfills all the promises that your girlfriend is making.
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